Friendship

Dear Moumoun,

What is the friendship to you?

Today you approached to me again asking me why I'm so sad recently. I don't know why you asked, maybe for you what is said shouldn't be counted as much. But I'm really sorry, I remember what you said and don't take it for granted. Maybe we're really from two different world, or you've left the world where you used to be.

I don't know whether you never understand me since the beginning or you just don't want to understand me since your life became better.

I asked you why do you need the friends, you said maybe for listening to you. Then I asked you if we don't see each other again as often as now cos we work together, when will you talk to me. You answered when we see each other again. As what you have said in the sms, you said normally you meet the important friends once a year. I told you that you're more important than I'm to you, you always don't want to admit. Maybe I don't know you enough, but what I feel is that I'm not so important to you.

It's sad to realize that, but it's sadder that you want me to believe that it's not true and to continue to bear being ignored and forgotten each time.

Could you please be nicer to me? If you don't need me any more, it's ok, as long as I feel upset and then I'll leave all will go better. No need to pretend, it's really not that important and that makes no sense at all, if you don't feel that way, no need to be guilty, just accept it. We both are not perfect. We have so much more to learn in this life. I know I'm not the one you really cherish. I've already learned to accept it. Please don't draw me back to suffer again. I don't want to cry for you any more in the midnight and asking days off just to avoid seeing you. You are my weakness, everything related to you may cause difficulties for me.

You've forgotten how close we were when you were in the difficult period. But you pushed me away again and again when I have difficulties with you. I was so desperate that I had to give up. Please try to understand me without being mad. You never take what I say into account when you're mad at me.

I feel really sad seeing you each day. You can stay with new friends, and I prefer to stay alone. It's ok that you abandon me, it's ok that you think you are always right. Maybe it's really my fault, because I took you too important and I am to serious about what you said and what you did, because I'm not simple and cool as you are.

I missed the sunshine when we were together on the grass in the small park nearby.

Moumoun, you've gone too far, and to fast and you didn't wait for me, I'm sorry, I may not catch up with you, I can't continue to chase you without your looking.

Miss you so much, but I can do nothing, I told you that I would not bother you again.

1. Miao