Dear Moumoun,
The fact that I couldnt face you, might just because that I wouldn't give up the hope from you, thinking that I might mean something to you.
But what Fanfan said might be right, we're just from different world, I'm someone who is serious to my feelings and my words and my promises, you are not. How can I force someone totally different to respect my principles.
Whether I'm still important for you is not important anymore, whether I mean something to you has no meanings anymore.
But I still couldn't hold to give you the authority to choose, I'll keep making efforts to avoid you, and you'll decide whether to do something or not. I feel myself empathic, I'm nothing to you, I swallowed my pride, and still can't refuse to be little before you. I accept I loving you, but couldnt accept that I'm nothing to you.
Life is still going on, there're so many people different from me, but I just fell for you. What a pity. I'll try doing the same thing as two years ago, quietly counting the days.
Love,
Miao
I'm so useless
Moumoun,
I miss you so much...
I hate myself always having you in my dream. This morning, you talked to me by my ear, saying "I treat yotreat you so much as a real friend..." and then you slapped me lightly, and then I woke almost crying, it was 6h59.
I fell asleep at around 3 o'clock, I don't know whether it was because of the alcohol or my sadness, I couldn't, just as I couldn't forget you and move on.
Last night at the party of working group, I was feeling so unwell, you proposed to send me back home by car, and tried to say that you remembered my address, however you tried, I refused. I just don't want fall again. God knows what I am going through. I don't want ever ever to experience the pain again.
In fact, even I tried to avoid you in every occasion, there's always sometime you want to get me to react to your talking, but dear Moumoun, how am I gonna react when you're not there, how am I gonna react to all the dreams I may have with you inside coldly hurt me, how could I face again being abandoned and forgotten by you? How could I stop loving you?
I cried and cried today, because the dream was so real. Fanfan said that deep inside I hope that I chose to avoid you is wrong, I hope I'm really your friend. But being a friend to you has to accept that you don't care for many things. I feel being teared apart, one part wanting you to treat me indifferently to prove what I am doing is right, the other preferring that you still care me as I still love you. It hurts each time when I see you, it hurts each time when you try to talk with me.
I feel so bad, how can I stand still two month.
I want to crawl out of the darkness.
I really miss you, I don't want to be missing you.
Love
Miao
I miss you so much...
I hate myself always having you in my dream. This morning, you talked to me by my ear, saying "I treat yotreat you so much as a real friend..." and then you slapped me lightly, and then I woke almost crying, it was 6h59.
I fell asleep at around 3 o'clock, I don't know whether it was because of the alcohol or my sadness, I couldn't, just as I couldn't forget you and move on.
Last night at the party of working group, I was feeling so unwell, you proposed to send me back home by car, and tried to say that you remembered my address, however you tried, I refused. I just don't want fall again. God knows what I am going through. I don't want ever ever to experience the pain again.
In fact, even I tried to avoid you in every occasion, there's always sometime you want to get me to react to your talking, but dear Moumoun, how am I gonna react when you're not there, how am I gonna react to all the dreams I may have with you inside coldly hurt me, how could I face again being abandoned and forgotten by you? How could I stop loving you?
I cried and cried today, because the dream was so real. Fanfan said that deep inside I hope that I chose to avoid you is wrong, I hope I'm really your friend. But being a friend to you has to accept that you don't care for many things. I feel being teared apart, one part wanting you to treat me indifferently to prove what I am doing is right, the other preferring that you still care me as I still love you. It hurts each time when I see you, it hurts each time when you try to talk with me.
I feel so bad, how can I stand still two month.
I want to crawl out of the darkness.
I really miss you, I don't want to be missing you.
Love
Miao
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