Courchevel

Dear Moumoun,

You might not understand why I'm so easy to be upset. That's because you never understand me and never make efforts to think on others' side. The courchevel for you maybe just a little piece of cake. But as a pregnant woman I had to take the transport with two hands holding the two boxes while most of the one hour I had no seat. The second box with three smaller cakes wasreserved to you and your friend in case that you couldn't eat it with others, and for myself too because I really wanted to have one.

But you just put it into the fridge and ignore it for a whole day and now three days. I shouldn't have thought so much about you, and shouldn't expect that you wouldn't ignore me, as you said although I was often ignored, but I was always important for you. It's so funny thinking of this. The cake is always waiting, but you never have time to taste it. It'll be corrupted while waiting as my waiting for you. I decided not to wait any more, although it had already become a habit for me. But I have to quit this habit, I don't want to cry for you each time, I don't want to ask my days off just because of not wanting to see you. If this is the way of being important, I want you to be as important as this, that I could ignore you as you ignore me.

I finally become like you, but I don't feel happy.

Here's one message sent to you :
I'm sorry I have to do all this, you don't know how to cherish, I felt so hurt that I couldn't let myself pretend nothing matters any more. You just take my efforts for granted each time. It's like the courchevel. For a moment I event wanted to decide not to eat it again. You just left it in the fridge just as ignoring me. It's ridiculous saying you don't remember me as often but I'm important, saying if I need you you're always there although you cannot always be there... I think you don't know how to cherish the really important things, maybe it's just not as important as how you describe them. Or maybe all what you say doesn't count. But I'm not this kind of person, I take seriously what I say and what you say as you are so important to me. But you don't understand. I chose to let it go, as you don't care for so many things I think it must not be as painful for you. I hoped that I could love you like God loves me, but I couldn't stand each time feeling being ignored by you and having to accept your excuses each time convincing myself that it was my problem feeling not important to you. I've explained to you so many times. I think you yourself haven't realized that as your focus has changed, you no longer need me. You always joked that I was not replaceable while you've already replaced me part by part. I feel heartbroken that I have to be like you, but I have no other choices, have I?

Miao