Lonely

Dear Moumoun,

Each time when I write the salutation, I hesite a bit, as I don't want someone other than you will understand what I write, I'm paradoxical, on one side, I hope that one day you may read all these letters, but on the other side, I don't think you will... Maybe because I still have the hope in my heart thinking the real you is not far away from the Moumoun to whom I'm writing the letter. Maybe one day when I completely give up, I'll change your name and keep this blog as my diary blog in writing a letter to my visual friend.

I don't know why I'm so upset about your accepting the flattering of another girl whom I don't appreciate at all. I though I had already convinced myself that I shouldn't give attention to how you treat others. But I still can't hold while seeing you doing the thing I hate most in the world, thinking that you keep flirting with every girl makes me sick, seeing her flirting with you and watching you enjoy the flirt makes me sick too. But really, it's none of my business, that's why I choose to shut up and just want to stay far away. I hate her acting the way of flirting in front of you while I'm by your side, so fake, can't you feel it? She never acts the same way before others with the accent like that. I feel so angry that you think I care too much, as you don't understand at all! She's not important at all for me, it's you, because you destroy the Moumoun in my heart, I thought he is integrate too... I feel like crying, when I know the you is an imagined one. I'm again alone here on the earth.

You may never understand me.

I feel so lonely, it's better always feeling lonely than you encounter someone you presume that you're not lonely and finally find that you're never no lonely.

I have to talk to you here. Missing you.

Love,

Miao