Back to the beginning
Dear Moumoun,
I never thought that I might come back, here or the company where I left. It seems like that after a year passed by, I have to be back again to the beginning.
I have to be faced with you, once again, in spite of all the efforts I had made to get away, from you.
I'll try, try my best to be professional
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Hi Moumoun,
The passage above is what I wrote in the end of May, when I knew that I would be back to the mission. I've started work since this Monday. It's not as difficult as last year, but it not easy either. The separation from Asher makes me sad. I saw you again, you were there, just like that I never left, But I can't help staying far away deliberately. I insist protecting myself, by holding all the emotions, all the curiosity, wanting to know how your life is, are you enjoying your married life, are you happy to still be there in the project, are you still helping your Mom for the restaurant...
What happened in the end of the day made me ask myself again, am I tricking myself in this kind of thinking that all has gone, I don't know what magic power you have that can always make me surrender. I hate you having this power.
I miss you.
Very.
Love,
Miao
Sunset
Dear Moumoun,
How are you?
Miss you as always.
We've moved to a new appartment, with Asher it's a little bit difficult, but we made it finally. Our bed ordered on the internet still not arrive, we sleep in our living room.
Sometimes you came to my dream, saying little words. Even one time I dreamed that we got married and you hold me on your back wearing the wedding dress. You sent me the sms to say happy new year several days after the new year.
We had several big fight after my in laws' arrival. I thought about death not less than 3 three times. I thought about you while I was wandering outside, thinking that if we were still good, I might have called you to help me. But, we are not. This period is a little bit hard for me. Hope the twilight will come soon.
Hope all is good for you.
How are you?
Miss you as always.
We've moved to a new appartment, with Asher it's a little bit difficult, but we made it finally. Our bed ordered on the internet still not arrive, we sleep in our living room.
Sometimes you came to my dream, saying little words. Even one time I dreamed that we got married and you hold me on your back wearing the wedding dress. You sent me the sms to say happy new year several days after the new year.
We had several big fight after my in laws' arrival. I thought about death not less than 3 three times. I thought about you while I was wandering outside, thinking that if we were still good, I might have called you to help me. But, we are not. This period is a little bit hard for me. Hope the twilight will come soon.
Hope all is good for you.
Love,
Miao
A la claire fontaine
Moumoun,
Asher is growing fast. We're moving to a new apartment. It's weird, that I thought if I kept busy, I would not think of you as much. But there was a night waked from a dream where you were there, I cried for missing you. I threw away the box of chocolate you offered me last year to count the rest day before Christmas. This year's Christmas is approaching again, but, where are we now, what are you doing at this moment?
I bought a book of songs for children, where there is full of ancient french songs for the little. This song broke my heart. It's like talking about you and talking about me. Wish you and.your family all the best! Merry Christmas.
J'ai perdu mon amie
Sans l'avoir mérité
Pour un bouquet de roses
Que je lui refusai
Il y a longtemps que je t'aime
Jamais je ne t'oublierai
Il y a longtemps que je t'aime
Jamais je ne t'oublierai
Je voudrais que la rose
Fût encore au rosier
Et que ma douce amie
Fût encore à m'aimer
Il y a longtemps que je t'aime
Jamais je ne t'oublierai
Il y a longtemps que je t'aime
Jamais je ne t'oublierai
À la claire fontaine
M'en allant promener
J'ai trouvé l'eau si belle
Que je m'y suis baigné
J'ai trouvé l'eau si belle
Que je m'y suis baigné
Miao
Whether, you still remember me
Dear Moumoun,
Can't stop dreaming about you, you smiled at me in a blue cardigan, in my dream.
It's soon Christmas again, this time last year, you offered me an advent calendar of Hello Kitty with one chocolat each day to Christmas. Then we had a big fight, and you engaged with your girlfriend then. It's like a long time ago all this happened. Still remember the first article in this blog was describing the day passing at Carrie's flat, watching the movie Elf with Grace and her.
One year has gone, nothing left between us except your flu image in my dreams. I miss you very much. This will be the first Christmas after marriage for you. No news at all from you. After the birth of Asher, Miao seemed disappeared from this world. Weiredly enough, that was always what I wanted, disappeared from this world. But my body and responsibilities are still here, I need to persevere, waiting for the end. Being forgotten sometimes is difficult to accept, but the time of adaptation is not forever and a day. I don't want to do the social things, while it is inevitable as for the little newborn.
How I miss you every deep night without sleep or sleep with dreams. I am afraid that you'll again enter my dreams and destroy my peace.
The weather is getting cold, take care.
Can't stop dreaming about you, you smiled at me in a blue cardigan, in my dream.
It's soon Christmas again, this time last year, you offered me an advent calendar of Hello Kitty with one chocolat each day to Christmas. Then we had a big fight, and you engaged with your girlfriend then. It's like a long time ago all this happened. Still remember the first article in this blog was describing the day passing at Carrie's flat, watching the movie Elf with Grace and her.
One year has gone, nothing left between us except your flu image in my dreams. I miss you very much. This will be the first Christmas after marriage for you. No news at all from you. After the birth of Asher, Miao seemed disappeared from this world. Weiredly enough, that was always what I wanted, disappeared from this world. But my body and responsibilities are still here, I need to persevere, waiting for the end. Being forgotten sometimes is difficult to accept, but the time of adaptation is not forever and a day. I don't want to do the social things, while it is inevitable as for the little newborn.
How I miss you every deep night without sleep or sleep with dreams. I am afraid that you'll again enter my dreams and destroy my peace.
The weather is getting cold, take care.
Love,
Miao
Are you safe after November 13th?
Yes, you are.
It was a terrible night last night. Asher had his first vaccination and was crying desperately all night long. I was asleep between 10 o'clock and midnight. When I woke up, Yan told me that there was a terrorist attack very severe happening in Paris. Until this morning the reports said that there was around 200 dead and 150 blessed.
I was wondering whether you're ok, And I was wondering whether you would ask me if I was Ok.
Since last time's talk, we haven't talked to each other for about two months. This is the end I expected, but why I am not happy.
I have no reason to check your security, nor to tell you that I'm safe. Hope I'll forget you one day, maybe that's the easier way to get over you.
Take care, pray for you and your family.
It was a terrible night last night. Asher had his first vaccination and was crying desperately all night long. I was asleep between 10 o'clock and midnight. When I woke up, Yan told me that there was a terrorist attack very severe happening in Paris. Until this morning the reports said that there was around 200 dead and 150 blessed.
I was wondering whether you're ok, And I was wondering whether you would ask me if I was Ok.
Since last time's talk, we haven't talked to each other for about two months. This is the end I expected, but why I am not happy.
I have no reason to check your security, nor to tell you that I'm safe. Hope I'll forget you one day, maybe that's the easier way to get over you.
Take care, pray for you and your family.
Love,
Miao
Happy birthday
Dear Moumoun,
Happy birthday.
It's your birthday today, I want to give you my best wishes here. It's been about one month since last time you sent me the texto. I have been missing you a lot recently. Fanfan said that it was just because my life is tedious and tired with the kid, the fact that I missed you is just the end of the story, once I had a new life again, I'll forget you very easily.
But...
I'm not sure. It's like being forgotten by you, and by all the world.
With Asher growing up, I'm worried about the future, I don't know how I'll survive. Today I went to visit a osteopathe, it was shiny, he said it was happy to have this kind of sunshine, this is the life, it's the hope. I didn't know how to reply him. I don't want to say that the hope is useless. but I think that most of the time the life is desperating.
How's your new life after the marriage?
I've been thinking about the time we spent together, I feel like staying all alone and crying.
Happy birthday.
It's your birthday today, I want to give you my best wishes here. It's been about one month since last time you sent me the texto. I have been missing you a lot recently. Fanfan said that it was just because my life is tedious and tired with the kid, the fact that I missed you is just the end of the story, once I had a new life again, I'll forget you very easily.
But...
I'm not sure. It's like being forgotten by you, and by all the world.
With Asher growing up, I'm worried about the future, I don't know how I'll survive. Today I went to visit a osteopathe, it was shiny, he said it was happy to have this kind of sunshine, this is the life, it's the hope. I didn't know how to reply him. I don't want to say that the hope is useless. but I think that most of the time the life is desperating.
How's your new life after the marriage?
I've been thinking about the time we spent together, I feel like staying all alone and crying.
Love.
Miao
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