You told me about the story of your rings, she seems like a little girl that one couldn't have a heart to hurt her. She asked you carefully of going to choose the rings together, though you haven't known yet when you're going to get married.
I'm paradoxical, sometimes I feel that only you understand me, or only me understand you, but I sometimes I can feel the gap that we can't get through, when you asked me why I felt so sad, when you asked me why I was mad at you... Sometimes I think that maybe in the world we have the closest distance with each other, shorter than others , but I realize that we have so many other people in our life, when you told me that you count on her to remove your shadow in your heart...
I become more silent in front of you, as I finally learned that, the language cannot express all from the heart. Before the farewell, I tried always to explain to you what I have in my heart, but you still couldn't understand. As it doesn't matter anymore, I have to feel the loneliness and the helplessness all by myself.
Fangfang asked me the similar question, she asked me why I didn't feel like living in this world. I don't know, I can't give the answer. I feel the sadness and helplessness are swallowing me up.
Thank you for the encouragement and for the accompany, and for the pictures of your cute cat. I didn't know that your fiancee is writing a blog of her life too. And in English too. People around you so love you. You're so blessed. Everyone wants to write you down in their life. Hope you'll have more sunshine. I think our difference is that you couldn't see the sunshine, but for me, is that I could see the sunshine, but I know I still have the darkness where the sunshine hasn't yet reached. I feel a bit desperate in thinking maybe in the whole life, I couldn't make the sunshine reach that area. Maybe I'm supposed to live with the helplessness all the life long.
Missing you.
Love,
Miao
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