I thought about telling you many things during the day. But when I'm sitting down now before the screen, I don't know where to start.
Maybe as you said, you never changed, what changed is just the distance of my imagination and the real world. Good to know that you chose to step out with your GF. She loves you so much. I thought that she deserved better, maybe the marriage. You always want to escape from the subject of love, but when your heart push to act out, it's too late to realize it. Just try to open your heart more to enjoy the love to give and to receive. Don't be afraid, love hurts, but all worths. I felt a little sad as that I got the news not directly from you. It seems that you're still mad at me, and never want to share with any more about your life. You were texting me all day long, but you didn't want to tell me this big event!
Fangfang told me I should keep a distance with you in my heart, I shouldn't give you the whole heart as I did. She said that I could be polite but have a distance with you. She couldn't stand that I tortured myself so frequently and I'm often hurt like this. I told her I couldn't because I promised you. It is sad, if this promise means nothing or little to you. But I'm just stupid, and like being different (just silly) with others. I joked to her that let you regret one day not having well cherished me. She seriously replied, he would. In fact, if I could choose, and if this day will really come, I wish that this would never happen.
She's right, we're just not equal in our friendship.
I don't know how long will I persist in keeping writing to you. I want to talk to you each day like this. Telling you about all what happens each day in my life. It doesn't matter, whether you're really Moumoun or not.
This night is Christmas Eve, though you don't celebrate, hope you have a good night.
Love,
Miao
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