I have to say that each day facing you is difficult. I don't know why your other friends don't have this kind of problems. I still have pain not knowing how to be your "good friend".
You always say that what you've done to me, what you've shared with me is already a lot for you. But for me, a good friend will not hesitate to contact me if he/she is missing me. He/ she will tell me the good news or bad news of himself/herself the first moment. He/she will never leave without saying goodbye to me when I was just 2 meters away, he/she will never ignore me when I am just by his/her side, he/she will try his/her best to do what he/she said to me... I don't know whether we have different criteria for being a good friend of someone. Sometimes I should say even a normal friend think of me a lot more than you. I'm sorry that I often feel disappointed about you, which disappoint you too. But I can't help feeling being hurt.
I'm trying to be a "good friend" in your definition. My love for you is that I keep waiting silently, I couldn't make any effort any more. I'm really tired of trying each time and easily beaten by your reaction. I'm really sorry, I don't have more love to push me, and I think you don't need that either, you're being comfortable like this. If it is just me who am uncomfortable, then that's me who should change. Though I think it may take long to adapt, I'll leave in June anyway.
I really miss my best friend.
Miao
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