Jealousy

Dear MM,

Love must be the most mysterious but most common emotion that exists in this world.
They always say that the jealousy is the friend of love, if you don't love, you won't have the feelings of jealousy.

When I realized that I couldn't accept what the beautiful colleague did to you, specially the things she showed the intimacy with you, I asked myself whether I was jealous of her beauty instead of the emotion of sadness of losing you. With the time passing by, I finally figure out that what I don't like is the idea of being replaced by someone else to you. I hated the way you explained to me that you were just teasing between her and you like sister and brother, just as we had been.

But today, it seems like that I'm no longer struggling with the idea of leaving, being forgotten or being replaced. After all, I've imagined so many times about this coming future. I was inspired by the notes of BSF, talking about Myriam's jealousy against Moses, in the notes, it says don't be jealousy about the position... It is talking about the church. But I was thinking about myself while reading it.

It's better that you have someone who can replace me, at least you could be happier like that. Why do I want you to be unhappy?

I want you to be happy even if I could not be around you in your life.

Love,

Miao