It was terrible having the headache and fever which didn't want to leave me during these days. I was lying in bed all day long through the whole three days. Sometimes I told myself, my passion for you and our friendship are similar to this kind of fever, they'll leave definitely one day after long sufferings. Carrie told me to take it easy and to have a good rest. It seems that the rest and time can cure anything. What a pity that nowadays, no one want to have a real rest and take time.
After two days' rest at home I finally cured a lot and got decided to come to work, but the transport had a big problem because of someone's suicide. He/she couldn't wait to take time and chose to rest forever. I took almost 3 hours to come to the office.
You're not there again. We missed each other for many times like this. If I ask several days off, the day I go to work you're certainly not there. It seems that through the time, I learn more and more how to deal with the distance with you and the time without you.
It's already 2015 now, I'm being dragged by the time over all the ups and downs. Luckily I have my God reminding me always to have rest in Him. I've latented so much time in the rest. It seems that this distance is "perfect" for you. Not being disturbed, totally in control. Because I've already given up the worry whether you'll forget me or not, whether I'm important enough for you or not. These are no longer important any more.
I even imagined whether I died of illness will change anything for you, sadly I found that I was just nothing. It's cold with or without you, as the distance you enjoy gives no longer enough warmth.
Hope I'll miss you less and less, though you appeared again in the dream.
Love,
Miao
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